🌿 God’s Renewing Work in Us

A Tribute of Hope, Healing, and Remembering

God doesn’t rush renewal. He works gently, faithfully, and often quietly over time… even in the places where grief has lived the longest.

💔 A Loss That Still Lives in the Heart

My daddy died in 1971 in a farm accident. While that is a long time ago for most of us, to me it seems like just yesterday. He has been in heaven for 54 years in earth time. He passed away when he was in his early 30s. But I have a clear picture of who my daddy was. And that has driven me forward my entire life. My parents modeled to us what a true Christian was (and my mom still does).

This journey has been a long one, and I still deal with grief from Daddy’s death. I have definitely moved slowly and taken baby steps throughout my life. There have been times where I have cried in my closet as the tears felt like they would never stop. There have also been times where I shared openly about his death and what came after.

🎂 Remembering Through the Years

Today, April 17, is his earthly birthday. While we remember him with deep love and memories, he celebrates with Jesus in heaven. That’s been hard. I think often of what he’s missed here. And I think of what we’ve missed not having him with us. I know he isn’t mourning and thinking about all he’s missing with us, but it’s natural for us to mourn what we haven’t been able to share with him — the birthdays, the graduations, weddings, and birth of his grandchildren (and now great-grandchildren). I would love to just sit and have an adult conversation with him now, because I can’t even remember what our last one was. I imagine he had kissed us all goodnight as we went to bed the night before he died at the field where he was working the next morning.

🌿 Gratitude in the Midst of Grief

What I AM grateful for is a beautiful, caring, Jesus-following mother who sacrificed so much to care for us five siblings she was “Mom” to. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for her after Daddy died and all the changes that came about to deal with. There was the sale of the farm equipment and livestock, the care of our horses, moving to town after a terrible tornadic storm made us realize we didn’t want to live in the country without Daddy, starting town school in the fall after having been in a country school, living in a different house, Mom getting a job instead of being at home with us, and so much more.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 A Family Carried by Love

Yet, God continued working in our lives. My oldest sister Jeanne had to grow up pretty fast to be a helper for Mom. She had to take care of us siblings before school started in the fall and sometimes after school later on. Other times we had after-school care from our grandparents, or our aunts and uncles. It was a family affair, and it affected all the families we were a part of. The journey continued as we each found our place in this new world. But I’ll be the first to tell you that the grief never disappeared; it only changed.

✨ Hope That Keeps Moving Forward

Thankfully, God never gives up on us and is understanding with all our emotions. God’s ongoing renewal in my life keeps me moving forward each and every day.

📖 The Message Behind the Story

That gives me hope for other children and families of loss. That’s why I wrote my book and shared my story. I know that God gives us hope, no matter what we have gone through. That hope comes through a relationship with Jesus Christ. A real relationship, not just going to church or being a good person. A real relationship is talking with God every day on a regular basis through prayer, reading the Scriptures and learning the lessons He teaches us. But even more, it is about sharing the Gospel of what Jesus did for us by dying on the cross for our sins and afterwards rising again so that through our “real” relationship with Him, we can look forward to eternal life in heaven. And that is the true message of my book.

✨ A Date That Still Matters

By remembering my daddy’s earthly birthday, I can remember his example of Christian living to me while he was alive, the love he showed for each one of us and our mom, and how to live joyfully and fully in Christ. Certain dates still hold meaning — the day he died in May, for one. But I also remember Christmases, summer days outside, Sundays at church and driving to visit the neighbors, and so much more. We don’t celebrate his life with a cake and a party, but we do share our memories, and that keeps him alive in our hearts and in who we are and have become.

🌱 Renewal Doesn’t Always Look Like We Expect

“See, I am doing a new thing…” – Isaiah 43:19

God’s plan for us after loss, this “new thing,” often begins quietly. We may not sense a specific direction to go. For adults, big decisions take time and yet they have to happen in order to care for a family.

Children should not sense urgency in having to make big decisions in their lives after loss. Renewal starts long after the loss as they work through the first part of grief after a death. They may not even realize healing is happening.

While I wrote my book, And the Sun Came Up: A True Story of Grief and Hope, God revealed to me the places in my life that still needed healing, and there were many. I imagine I will continue working through these pain points through writing, which is a healing task for me. It’s what helps me the most. But journaling, coloring, drawing, talking to an adult – those are all things that a child can work through with an adult. I felt led to create a companion hope journal to my book. It is called Sunlight for the Soul: A Hope Journal for Kids Walking Through Sadness. Both the children’s book and the companion journal are available on Amazon and other booksellers under my full name, Mary Grace Johnson.

Sometimes renewal is so quiet, we don’t recognize it until much later.

💔 When the Heart Needs Re-Creation

“Create in me a clean heart, O God…” — Psalm 51:10

I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that renewal is not just external; it’s internal as well. God works within us, if we ask Him, and He gently reshapes those wounded places. As in my case, decades later, He still restores my soul.

So, yes, I am a child of grief. I experienced traumatic loss at a young age and have been working to process it my whole life. It’s no one’s fault; it’s just the way things happened. In the early 70s, we didn’t really have access in our small town area to a counselor or psychologist. But we had a church pastor and other Christian leaders, like those at Camp Rock, where I attended my first year of camp less than a month after Daddy’s death. They were understanding and listened when the tears came. Our extended family stood beside us that entire summer after he died, while we were in the earliest days of our grief and beyond. They took us in as their own and gave us a second home. And the small community was understanding as we struggled to find our way when we went through so many changes in such a short time.

🌿 Renewal Is Ongoing (Not One Moment)

“Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” — 2 Corinthians 4:16

I think I have gotten my message across that renewal is daily, not instant. God is still working in you now, whether you notice it or not. Even at 63 years of age, my story is still unfolding. I chose the word “renewal” as my 2026 Word of the Year. I think that focus is perfectly timed. I have seen enough death, trauma, loss, and surprises in life that I am understanding God’s part in all of it. I have faith that He is with me through every event that happens, whether it was 50+ years ago or something that might happen tomorrow. And I can tell you that children, too, can grow through grief. But they need the tools that only an adult can work through with them…even adults that are still healing themselves.

🎂 A Tribute to Daddy

So, Daddy, I want to remember today the way you would brush your soft whiskers on our faces when you were cuddling with us or just teasing us. I remember how you sang those fun little “ditties” (some of which I’m guessing you made up) and taught them to us. I remember the love you shared with each of us individually in order to show how each of us was special. I remember you squirting water through your front two teeth at Mom during one of our meals to tease her. I remember that you found a neighbor in the ditch who needed help with an addictive behavior, so you drove him to a place where he could get the help he needed. And I could go on and on, but you must know how much you meant to us – I’m sure the Father has shared that with you. Daddy was one of the best, and we were blessed, even if it was for a short time.

I hope others have someone like you that they realize was “one of the best” when loss comes about. It happens to everyone at different ages. I know so many kids who have gone through the loss of a parent, and suddenly the remaining parent is thrown into widow(er)hood with all kinds of decisions to make. I pray that you, young child or teen, have an adult who can help you move forward in your grief. It will take baby steps, slow growth, and patience to live each day — but you can do it.

Though his life on earth was short, the seeds Daddy planted are still growing, and his story is part of what God is still renewing in me. God is still writing new life into places we thought were finished.

✝️ From Grief to Surrender

You may ask what I have learned throughout my grief journey. Not everything I learned about myself was good. I worked very hard to control things that happened in my life, from jobs, to how I raised my kids, to relationships with others.

Starting in college, I began wrestling with depression, anxiety, and more questions. I didn’t know what to do when a panic attack sent me to the hospital. Thankfully, I had a friend who made sure I got there okay as I hyperventilated. I spoke with counselors, a psychiatrist and psychologist, and a pastor. Eventually, I was able to go on low dose medications for anxiety and depression, and they have been very helpful in keeping me grounded. I still feel anxiety and depression, but it’s very manageable now.

I have learned a lot through the losses in life because I now realize that God asks me to surrender to Him. I need to give Him my worries, my grief, and my desire to control circumstances and instead place it in His hands. I imagine I will continue to struggle with the unknown future trials, but I have finally found the place I need to be — with Jesus.

Renewal often comes through surrender, not control. And maybe renewal doesn’t erase the past, but it gently transforms it into something that shines with hope.

🌼 Gentle Encouragement

To grieving children, parents, and adults still carrying old wounds, remember these ideas:

• It’s never too late for God to renew your heart.

• Your story is not finished.

• God is still working—even now.

• Even after loss, even after years, God is still making something new.

🙏 Breath Prayer

Inhale: Lord, renew my heart.

Exhale: I trust You with my story.

🎨 Children’s Activity

“New Things Garden” 🌱

Invite children to:

• Draw a garden or plant a flower/seed. Talk together about what each flower represents before drawing.

• Each flower = something God is growing in them
  (hope, courage, peace, love)

• Add a “sun” and write on it: “God is making all things new.”

💡 Remember: “See, I am doing a new thing.” – Isaiah 43:19

And even now, God is still bringing light where love once lived—and still lives on.