He Gently Leads Us — Guidance for the Road Ahead

A January Mini-Series: New Beginnings After Loss

“He tends His flock like a shepherd… He gently leads those that have young.” – Isaiah 40:11

🐑 God’s Leadership Is Safe

The pressure to react or move is strong when difficulties arise. I find that I want to shout, raise my voice, react immediately, or fight back when trials come about. I know, because I have done these things, and I sometimes regret my words or actions after they happen.

God teaches us that He is a gentle leader. “He gently leads…” as Isaiah 40:11 states. When trials come about, it is best to go to the Savior first. In my kitchen window, I have a wooden decoration that says, “But first, pray.” As trials come, I find myself learning to stop and say even a quick “Help me, Jesus.”

And the word “gently” stands out in this verse for a reason. God does not rush, yank us forward, or demand that we come to peace over things that happen in our lives. This verse can bring comfort after loss, not only to those of us who are adults, but also to our children. In fact, Isaiah 40:11 goes on to say that, “He gently leads those that have young.” Our reaction to loss, grief, or trials can shape the lives of our children or other young ones we come into contact with.

Something that I have become aware of over just the last few years is the effect of trauma on children, whether direct or indirect. Researchers have observed that the effects of trauma can sometimes reach beyond the person who experienced it. This is often called generational or intergenerational trauma, and it refers to the way grief, loss, or overwhelming stress may influence children and families through learned behaviors, emotional patterns, and caregiving responses. While children may not experience the original trauma themselves, they can be shaped by how adults around them cope, communicate, and respond to pain. Studies suggest that healing, safety, and nurturing relationships play a powerful role in interrupting these patterns and supporting resilience in future generations.

While trauma can echo across generations, Scripture and research alike remind us that healing, love, and intentional care can also be passed on—bringing hope where there has been hurt.

• EBSCO Research Starters. Transgenerational Trauma.
  https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/social-sciences-and-humanities/transgenerational-trauma

• Psychology Today. Intergenerational Trauma.
  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/intergenerational-trauma

• Yehuda, R., & Lehrner, A. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects.
  American Journal of Psychiatry, 175(4), 302–310.
  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6127768/

💞 God’s Guidance Through Relationships

During my college years, I decided to spend a summer in my college town. I had a roommate for our apartment, but I was without a car and walked a couple of blocks to the college for my summer job. It was during this time that I started to become homesick and lonely. I had never spent a summer away from home, especially following a full year of school. When the anniversary date of my daddy’s death came around, I sat in the large, quiet Baptist church nearby and cried. I was so unhappy but didn’t know how to leave my job and how I would get home. It was after I talked to the president of the college, a very kind man, and asked about leaving my job, that I received confirmation that it was okay to feel what I was feeling, leave my job (I wasn’t irreplaceable), and find a way home. I went to the apartment and fell asleep in peace.

What happened next was totally unexpected. I woke up with a start, hyperventilating, but thinking I was going to die! At that point, all I could do was call my friend in nursing school and breathlessly ask her to take me to the ER. She took me there, where I was examined and tested for a multitude of things. They kept me in the hospital overnight for observation. The next morning, a doctor came to see me and basically told me my feelings were selfish and that there was nothing wrong with me except for a panic attack. I carried that label of “selfish” with me for years and years without truly understanding that anxiety and depression were a part of my life, and that the doctor was so wrong to label me. Shame over my condition was ever present.

Jesus provided a way for me to get home and to my mom for the rest of that summer, so I could find the rest and support that I needed at that point. Looking back, I believe He was leading me to find help for grief that I had kept inside for a long time. Please know that there was no instant fix for the anxiety and depression. It has been a lifelong road of counseling, medication trials, and looking to God for his gentle leading. In many ways, God led me gently through the people He placed around me.

As an adult, I am unsure of how my trauma, grief, anxiety, and depression affected my own children. I know that I tried to hide feelings from them when I could, although the anxiety and depression were better controlled by medication by then. I have gone to counseling after events and issues have come up since my children became adults. I’m not advising that others should hide feelings from their children, but instead to find a gentle way of explaining why Mommy (or Daddy) is sad, upset, etc., if needed. Sometimes just knowing Mommy (or Daddy) will be okay because Jesus is handling things is enough of an explanation. In the same way, God leads us with patience and care.

😢 Children’s Experience of Grief

Children don’t grieve in straight lines. They need reassurance, repetition, and safety to take them forward on the winding path of grief. We know God understands this—and leads them gently. God knows that children who are grieving need time. They need room to ask questions, to feel afraid, and to take breaks from sadness. Isaiah reminds us that God leads them gently. This should reassure us as parents who worry that we are “doing it wrong.

🧭 Guidance for the Road Ahead (Without Pressure)

This is about direction, not destination. The new year strikes, and we feel uncertain we can meet goals and resolutions we have made for ourselves. If we have gone through grief, we may not know what healing will look like, or even if it is possible in the early days and nights. The key is in trusting that God will help us with the next small step. We are not on a timetable of getting from grief to healing. Grief is part of our lives and can exist with gratitude. With Isaiah 40:11, remember that God doesn’t ask us to know the whole path. He simply leads us forward, one gentle step at a time.

⛪ A Word to Parents & Caregivers

There are no rules. Just remember these three things:

• It’s okay to go slowly.

• Children don’t need to be “strong.”

• Presence matters more than progress.

When we move gently with our children, we reflect the heart of the Shepherd who leads them.

🙏 Closing Prayer

Jesus,

Help me (or name) with my grief. I know this isn’t something that will be healed in a short time, but I trust your pace. I will follow Your lead in finding help through prayer, Scripture, counseling, or medication, knowing You are the Great Physician. I want to feel held, not hurried through this journey. Please help my family (or name of family) trust Your gentle leadership into the months and years ahead.

Amen.

📚 More Hope-Filled Resources, Just for You

Check out my website at https://marygracejohnsonauthor.com and download the “Seven Affirmations of Hope” for free.

I also have two collaborative books available on Amazon:
Hope for the Holidays: Stories and Traditions for a Peaceful Season (2024) and the new 365-day devotional, A Year of Hope (2025).

🔜 To be released by April!

And the Sun Came Up: A True Story of Grief and Hope, my picture book

An accompanying hope activity journal, Sunlight for the Soul: A Hope Journal for Kids Walking Through Sadness (ages 4-10)

🎉 I will be looking for launch team members to participate in this book release where there will be giveaways, behind-the-scenes updates, and early access to the book!