Helping Children Carry Heavy Feelings: Grief, Anxiety, and Hope
Helping Children Carry Heavy Feelings: Grief, Anxiety, and Hope
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7
When I was in college, I suffered my first anxiety attack. At the time, I thought I was having a heart attack or that something was really wrong with me. It was summer, and I had decided to stay in the city where I attended college to work. I was struggling with homesickness and unhappiness with my living situation.
After finally getting up the nerve to talk to my boss about quitting and moving eight hours back home, I had no idea I would wake up from a nap later that day struggling to breathe. A friend who was in nursing came over and suggested the ER. That was the beginning of my generalized anxiety disorder diagnosis.
The only thing I felt after that day was shame. As a Christian, I believed I shouldn’t have anxiety, and I didn’t know how to handle it. Years later, through counseling, prayer, and medication, I realized that shame had no place in my story.
😰 Childhood Grief and Early Anxiety
After losing my dad in a farm accident when I was just eight years old, I remember similar feelings of fear and worry:
What would happen to us?
Would my mom be okay?
Where would we live?
Why did I feel sick inside?
I didn’t have the words for it then, but it was childhood anxiety mixed with deep grief. Children often carry heavy feelings like this without knowing how to explain them. That’s why it’s so important for us, as parents, grandparents, and caregivers, to help children process their emotions in healthy ways.
🆘 Here are some practical, hope-filled strategies to help kids work through grief and anxiety.
1. Give Them the Words
Use simple feeling words: sad, mad, scared, lonely, worried.
Provide feeling charts with faces and expressions for them to point to.
Model your own feelings: “I feel sad because I miss Grandpa. Do you sometimes feel that way too?”
2. Storytelling and Books
Read books about loss, worry, or courage, and pause to ask questions: “What do you think this character feels?”
Encourage storytelling through drawing, writing, or even acting out feelings with toys.
3. Encourage Creativity
Drawing, painting, or journaling provides a safe outlet.
Music and movement—dancing, stomping, slow breathing—help release what words can’t.
4. Explain How Their Body Feels
Teach awareness: “My tummy feels tight when I’m worried.”
Show how anxiety shows up in the body, then practice calming tools: deep breathing, counting, or squeezing a stuffed animal.
5. Create Routines
Bedtime prayers, lighting a candle for someone they miss, or using a “worry box” at night can bring comfort.
Routines anchor children when everything feels unsure.
6. Normalize the Feelings
Reassure: “It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel worried.”
Share your own experiences so they know they are not alone.
7. Let Them Know You’re There
Offer your presence without pressure. Some children talk, while others process through play or creativity.
8. Above all, give HOPE.
Remind children that while feelings come and go, they are safe, loved, and never alone.
Share Scripture verses with children, such as Psalm 34:18, Isaiah 41:10, Philippians 4:6-7, and Matthew 5:4. These are some of God’s promises to be with us through the most difficult times.
⚓ Helpful Resources for Kids and Families
Recommended Books on Grief & Loss
And the Sun Came Up: A True Story of Grief and Hope by Mary Grace Johnson (Fall 2025)
Joy’s Journal by Jerry L. Woodbridge
Joy Overcame Sorrow by Jerry L. Woodbridge
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
The Memory Box: A Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland
Recommended Books on Anxiety & Worry
What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner
Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes
A Little Spot of Anxiety by Diane Alber
Practical Activities for Children
Feelings Picture Chart: Let kids point to how they feel.
Worry Box: Write or draw fears, then place them away in the box at night.
Memory Craft: Scrapbook, photo album, or memory box for loved ones.
Calm-Down Jar: Glitter jar to shake, settle, and breathe with.
Breathing Buddies: Stuffed animal placed on tummy or to hold during slow breaths.
Faith-Based Comfort and Hope
Scripture Cards: Verses about comfort and peace (Psalm 34:18; Philippians 4:6–7).
Prayer Journaling: Encourage kids to write or draw prayers.
Hope Practices: Light a candle, pray, or read a promise verse at bedtime.
🙏 Final Encouragement
Helping children process grief and anxiety takes time, patience, and tenderness. But as we guide them with words, routines, creativity, and faith, we remind them that God is near to the brokenhearted and that hope is always within reach.
