The Empty Chair: Remembering with Love at the Holiday Table

🌾 Holiday Series: Hope Through the Holidays

The Empty Chair: Remembering with Love at the Holiday Table

💔 When the Holidays Feel Different

As we approach the holidays, I’m often reminded of who’s missing, and that can ache, especially for children. My Holiday Series: Hope Through the Holidays is written to help families navigate these tender seasons when memories run deep and emotions rise high.

In this week’s reflection, I want to share ways families can create simple, healing habits of remembrance: lighting a candle, sharing a favorite story, or setting up a small memory to honor loved ones who have passed.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

🌼 Remembering My First Holidays After Loss

When I lost my daddy at eight years old, the holidays changed. I remember feeling sadness and wondering how my mom and siblings would handle the season, especially since we were living in a different home. Yet somehow, surrounded by extended family who lived in our small town, we made it through that first year and the many that followed.

Even in a house filled with around twenty people, his absence was felt. The holidays have a way of highlighting the ones who aren’t there. For many families today who live in different places, gathering in large groups isn’t as easy as it once was. When only a few sit around the table, that empty chair becomes even more visible.

✨ The Power of Shared Memories

One part of grief involves remembering. For children, telling stories about the person who has passed can help with healing. Sharing a favorite memory around the table not only honors the loved one but also helps everyone, especially little ones, feel seen and understood.

When we share feelings like sadness, confusion, or even anger, we discover we’re not alone in them. Those shared moments bring families closer and remind children that their emotions are valid and welcomed.

🕯️ Creating Traditions of Hope

Last year, my husband lost his mother at age 95. She was the last of a large family of uncles and aunts who had passed over the years. Though her passing was bittersweet, a summer reunion later became a sacred time of remembrance. The cousins gathered, lighting a candle for each father and mother who had gone before. There were tears, laughter, gratitude, and deep joy in remembering together.

Lighting a candle for missing loved ones at the holiday table can become a special family tradition, one that honors their memory while pointing to the light of God’s presence.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” — John 1:5

Children might also choose to leave a special space at the table or place a small memento nearby, such as a photograph, ornament, or keepsake. These tangible reminders help them express love and carry memories forward as they move from grief to hope.

🌈 From Grief to Hope

However you choose to remember, the key is to make space for conversation, for silence, and for grace. This gives children permission to talk about who they miss or to simply sit in quiet reflection.

If your family begins a new remembrance tradition, it becomes something sacred to carry year after year, a symbol of love that bridges grief and hope. And that, in itself, is a beautiful beginning.

🌤️ Moving Toward Hope Together

Soon to be released on Amazon are my new children’s picture book, And the Sun Came Up: A True Story of Grief and Hope, and a companion activity journal, Sunlight for the Soul: A Hope Journal for Kids Walking Through Sadness. Both are written to help children (and adults) move at their own pace from grief toward hope.

While you’re on my website, I’d love for you to download "Seven Affirmations of Hope," a free resource for families walking through loss.

You can also find my collaborative book, Hope for the Holidays (2024), on Amazon, and stay tuned for my new collaborative devotional, A Year of Hope, coming December 1.

🕊️ A Closing Thought

Even an empty chair can become a sacred space—a reminder of love that once filled it and the everlasting hope that still surrounds it.